Monday March 23. 2009This morning we had to find the balance between saying goodbye
to beauty and the trust in a healthy future.
The single room in the hospital gave the privacy we needed at
this precious moment.
At 10.00 I left a silent birdie behind, but one moment later
she waved her wings behind the windows to say me goodbye.
The powerless waiting started.
It's raining, but so many candles are burning now.
16.00 pm
Together with Mijke we could speak with Jet shortly.
It is a strange discrepancy to say that the amputation of the
breast was a successfully done.
A lot of sleep now to get rid of a lot of morphine.
Tuesday March 24. 2009At 05.00 am an SMS : I've got a cup of tea !
I answered to ask the nurse to bring me a coffee, but the
disappointing answer : "She stinks with smoke".
Our normal level of conversation is already back.
Family visits during the next days, and of course the grand-
children made life happier again.
Wednesday March 25. 2009This morning at 9.55 a.m. in hospital to be present at the
moment the bandage should be removed and to be confronted with
the new reality. Only our eye contact was enough to share the
obvious acceptance. Saying goodbye was much more difficult and
emotional than the salution of the new situation.
During the afternoon Jet had a conversation with the mammacare
nurse about a breast prosthesis. In many other cases it will be
a very serious conversation, but for Jet it was a moment of
many laughs.
Friday March 27. 2009At 10.00 a.m. I could bring Jet home again.
In spite of the event with a huge impact, Jet looks radiant as
ever and is happy to be home.
So many cards and so many flowers of so many dear friends and
colleagues are heartwarming.
Friday April 3. 2009Jet was invited to come to Milan's school this morning.
He made a special present for Palm Sunday for his Omi and
wanted to give it to her during a celebration in his classroom.
But Jet had a high fever because of the inflammation of
the wound. We were forced to cancel the school visit.
At such moments Jet is intensely sad.
"But I shall come and bring it to you after school time Omi",
Milan said at the end of a phonecall.
And there he was, singing the Palm Sunday song.
Children are the motivation to come over difficult situations.
In the evening we were in hospital from 18.00 till 23.45 p.m.
Inspection of the wound, decrease of moisture, observation of
other 'first aid patients', were the elements which influenced
the beginning of a weekend with much pain, fear, sleep and the
work of strong antibiotics.
Monday April 6. 2009
Why don't we have a bar-code?
This is the day for the 'bone scan'. After driving around in
the parking garage for more than 20 minutes, we were just in time
in the room where Jet had to take the contrast fluid and after it
at least one liter of water. We said to each other that it seemed
to look like 'thirst cancer'.
A quick control of the wound followed. The inflammation decreases,
but not the pain.
Again spending much time in the waiting room untill Jet was called
for the bonescan.
Her whole body was scanned 'von Kopf bis Fuss' in half an hour.
The chicken breast in the supermarket is scanned in a split second.
But they have the bar code !
Saturday April 18. 2009At 07.45 a.m. I heard my mobile, took it from the nightstand.
Kaspers voice : "Ruben Lucas Adrianus".
My sleepy intelligence told me to repeat the names and Jet reacted
immediately with enthousiasme : "Its a boy!". We both congratulated
the young father loudly. Ruben was born 4 weeks too early, but after
several days in hospital he could go home together with a proud
mother and father. And we are very happy with our third grandchild.
Tuesday April 21. 2009Today all the pieces of the scan puzzle will be put together by the
oncologist Dr.de Jong.
The new entrance of the hospital is huge and impressive, but how
different ones feelings can be walking there. On Saturday Jet has
the nice supporting role as Omi in a fairytale and now she is in the
set of a horror film in which she don't want to play the main
character at all. Anxiety reached in the meantime the level of fear.
In the waiting room our minds absolutely went into the same direction
but we couldn't speak anymore.
The oncologist brought the message straight : several metastasis in
the bones and especially in the vertebra. The statistical data are
depressing, but Jet reacted on her own positive way and answered
that she wants to beat all the statistics.
Back home we only could cry, vituperate, embrace each other and feel
our love.
We went out for a dinner.
July 2009In the meantime four irradiations have been taken place.
The after effect is a stronger pain in the back, but Jet is cheerful
as ever and we try to enjoy life as much as possible.
With Mijke, Manno, Milan and Lisa we went to the coastside in the
North of our country.
The first result of the blood examination was hopeful because two
'cancer markers' showed a positive effect of the medicines.
Unendless seaIt is not necessary to be member of the WWF to appreciate the ostrich.
We've taken 'head in the sand' literally and went to the coastside
together with Mijke, Manno, Milan and Lisa. We hired a small
cottage and because of the exceptional nice weather we went to the
beach every day. But a good glass of white wine with sand in your
mouth is less attractive than sitting two meters higher at the terrace
of a beach pavilion. Milan was playing in the sand and we enjoyed
our lunch or dinner.
Children and grandchildren are a constant source of life drift.
Children are honest and uninhibited. You only get their unconditional
love if you deserve. When Milan enters the bathroom to verify if Omi
is really taking a shower, he is coming to the breakfast table to
inform the rest of the family : "Omi has big buttocks".
A next weekend to Oostende with Kasper, Patricia and Ruben is
planned already. Again to the coastside and not only to play the
ostrich.
The unendless sea gives life perspective.
Second opinionJet wanted to have a second opinion to ensure that she gets the
optimal treatment.
So we went to the 'Anthonie van Leeuwenhoek' hospital in Amsterdam.
This is the most important cancer hospital in our country.
My personal second opinion about the parking garage in Amsterdam
was is favor of this luxury.
We had an appointment with Dr. Kerst (Dutch word for Christmas),
and we were invited to his surgery exact in time.
Second opinion about logistics: excellent.
Then follows an enlightening discussion with Dr. Kerst and he
explained that he should have used exactly the same treatment as
Jets own oncologist Dr, de Jong.
We had some instructive PowerPoint pictures to show how the chosen
medicines are establishing the menopause double quick.
Giving percentages to predict the chance of life was rejected by
Dr. Kerst. But he suggested that, in case the medicines continue
to do their work, we can celebrate Chistmas for many years.
Driving home we were singing "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas".
